Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.