i was born a porn star she said
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.