8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
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