non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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