oh god the rape fog is back!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize