My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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