glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
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her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
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I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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