I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
