if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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