I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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