This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.