remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
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The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Houston, we have a squirter
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
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I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.