connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Found the puke drawer
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.