Your tits are I can't wait for
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
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oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
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After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months