grandma shit on top of the toilet
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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