hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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