i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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