sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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