just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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