He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
