drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize