That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
NoShamevember. You game?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
