Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
COCAINE IS GR8
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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