I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Fuck appropriateness.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
