Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize