if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
time to smoke my breakfast
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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