it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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