where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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