I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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