The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
