Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.