Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
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So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
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He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?