Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask