Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
