Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
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We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
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Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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