i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
