I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
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I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
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we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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