she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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