dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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