his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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