That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize