took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize