shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize