I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize