Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
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I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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