I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
