I need help removing her.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok