It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.