I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life