Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
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Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
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But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?