and technically it was a rebound
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER