can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.