Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
