But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize