I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
