i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
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