Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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