God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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