My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
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If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
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my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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