I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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