i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
